“The Oscars were so predictable…how did such-and-such win…Billy Crystal fucking sucks…it lacks that Ratneresque charm…Emma Stone’s big bow…”

This has been the general climate I’ve been hearing about tonight’s Oscars telecast: bitch, bitch, bitch, moan, moan, moan. The Oscars, shockingly, was not as people pictured.

The people who walked in with negative reactions came out with the exact same reactions. They knew they were going to hate Billy Crystal, because nothing good could EVER come out of Billy Crystal. I was on this bandwagon for a bit, because I felt as though Billy Crystal was too tired for this sorta thing. I’m sure some people felt the same about Bob Hope though, but Billy hosting was what part of what made the Oscars so magical when I was growing up. If for no other reason, his lame jokes that will be totally dated by next month and half-baked songs were subtle reminders of what kept me tuning in.

Last year’s ceremony was a lovable mess. From the awkward hosting to Melissa Leo, the entertainment was within the bruises. Tonight had none of that; it wasn’t a SPECTACULAR show throughout (that could’ve changed with some LIVE PERFORMANCES), just a nice one. Which is pretty much an allegory for the films nominated: nothing flashy, just alright.

I laughed a lot more than I expected, and was only partly satisfied by the winners. I’ve reached a point where I don’t care as much if my winners don’t win, mostly because (lest we forget) that Oscars, in the end, don’t mean shit.